Another day, another big red mark on my forehead from where it's impacted my desk multiple times. I think I may have dented it, but maybe I've just softened up the frontal lobe of my brain and I'm starting to hallucinate. Either way, the stupidity level seems to be climbing today with a trending topic of people deciding to threaten me with a variety of things which I'll touch on in turn, all of which amuse more than frighten me.
To begin with, don't bother threats of violence over the Internet in any situation ever. You just look like a complete moron for thinking that your "I'm going to come shoot you with my gun! Herp derp" threat has any backing whatsoever. If you had any clue where I was, I still wouldn't feel threatened by this since 9999 times out of 10000 whoever threatens this is just a big pussy anyway. You're better off venting your frustration elsewhere to avoid looking like a loser and a moron (too bad you're already both).
Next is threatening me with "going to talk to competitor x". Go ahead, talk with the competitor as much as you want. I work for a 3rd party company in the first place and couldn't care less if you sign up with the company I'm shilling cell phones for other than making my sale and getting my bonus (it's not commission, it's a bonus based on sales volume and it doesn't matter what I sell as long as something sells). So feel free, you probably think that I'm just holding out on you and don't want to give you the "Super Pissed Off Customer Threatens To Leave" discount which I don't have, have never heard of, and wouldn't give to you anyway out of spite because the mental picture of you frothing at the mouth pissed off I didn't discount something by $0.01 to make it free gives me a warm fuzzy feeling in the pit where my heart once was.
My next beef for today is language. There's really no call for swearing and calling me names for two reasons. First of all I've been called much worse. Second of all I do have it in my right to simply close the chat if you start swearing at me, although I'm 50/50 on whether I do it or not considering I get a kick out of your childish variation of the English language and poor usage of the term "Fuck". I admit it makes me smile a bit and move on to assisting other customers, only to check back in on you after a minute or two so I can see if you've come up with anything unique. If not, consider the chat closed because "OMG you trolled me so great, you's best troll on interwebz EVAR!" but seriously, no...Just, no...You're a loser who needs a life and a better vocabulary.
Now what else can I throw in my post today to round this whole thing out. Oh wait, I have just the thing. It's a bit off topic, but there is not much that frustrates me more. I'll ask you a very detailed question which requires a multiple choice, or detailed response in turn. I often receive "Yes" as the only answer. Not only does this not get us any further, I'm now curious on how you managed to get out of bed let alone think about buying a cell phone. If you would like an example, a good one is me asking "So to find the best plan for you, what's an estimate of how many calls you make in a single day?" When you respond with "Yes" a kitten dies. I swear to the god I don't believe in that is true.
This is where I'm going to wrap things up for today, as I'm noticing that I get a little long-winded during these rants that help preserve my own sanity, and help provide amusement to anyone who's reading I hope. Use some common sense when you're dealing with other people online and it goes a long way to getting you taken care of much better, the old saying about catching bees with honey, yadda yadda yadda. Until tomorrow, or someone really pisses me off tonight, take care.
Cheers,
Rob
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